Happy Mother’s Day!

happy_mother's_day

In honor of Mother’s Day today, let’s take a minute to think about exactly what it takes to be a mom.   You would think it’s easy; have a child, right?  It could be, but there are so many other ways that you can be a mom.  There are step-moms, aunts, sisters, team moms, and the neighbors who help take care of you when you need it.  There are so many different ways to be a mom that there is no definition and we should celebrate all the women that have such a huge impact in our children’s lives.

I believe that being a mother is the most difficult job in the world.  You need to be all things to all of your kids at all times.  That means when one is happy and one is sad, you have to be happy and sad at the same time.  When one of your children is in pain, your whole being is in pain.  Each one will be going through something different and you have to adjust to each circumstance.

As moms, we need to respect each other, help each other out, and support each other for the benefit of all of our kids!  Our children don’t know and don’t care that some of us work, some of us stay home, and some of us have different lifestyles or opinions.  Kids are typically much more forgiving of differences that we are as adults.  This is one lesson that we should take from them.  Being a mom is hard work; why make it harder on ourselves or on each other?  It’s so much better for us, as parents, and for our children when we work together to make this world a better place for our children.  We need to set a good example for them of what tolerance and support looks like.

While rewarding, I also know that being a mom isn’t always a piece of cake.  There is no right way or wrong way; there’s no instruction manual.  Each child you have has a different personality, different traits and they all go through different stages.  Being a mother is like being on a roller-coaster!  There are ups and downs and unexpected turns.  This makes it extremely difficult to manage and we have to be as flexible as we can.  There will be times of disagreement, of anger, of hurt feelings (on both sides), and words that will be spoken that cannot be taken back.  We have to learn to not regret these things.  It’s all part of the growing-up process as our kids learn how to be adults.  It’s not easy for either of us, but it’s a necessary process, one that will equip them with the tools to be independent adults.  We may not always do what we should, but if we act with good intentions and try to be the best mother that we can be to our children, we have to learn to be okay with that.  Mommy guilt is definitely a thing because we all want to be 100% right in what we do for them, but there is no right or wrong.  It’s what works best for your child and your family.  You can only do the best that you can do with what you have and nobody can expect more, even you.  It’s too bad that we only learn or understand this as we get older, after our kids are gone and we can look back on those times.  Our own mothers understood this as they got older, we will do the same, and so will our own children.  Someday, they will regret some of the things that they say and do and you will reassure them that it was normal, that you didn’t take it to heart (even if you did at the time), and that you love them with all your heart.

We will all experience various emotions throughout our children’s years, from pride, happiness, and joy to anger, frustration, and (yes) disappointment.  It’s all perfectly normal!  As time goes by, our relationships change with our children.  They DO eventually grow up and turn into adults.  One of the hardest times that I had as a mother was allowing this to happen.  I wanted to protect them, to have them need me, and to want to spend time with me while they are learning to pull away, to become independent, and to want anything BUT to be at home.  It’s not easy, folks, but if we do the job right, they will become fully functioning members of society – people that we can be proud of in their own right, not just because they’re our kids.  If you are really lucky, they will still come by because they want to and you will feel like the luckiest person in the world!

Today, on Mother’s Day, our kids are celebrating us for the jobs that we have done and I appreciate that because, as we know, it isn’t easy.  However, I want to thank my own kids for making me the person that I am today.  I appreciate the fact that they helped me to grow and do things beyond my wildest imagination.  I have experienced feelings that I never would have anticipated.  They forced me to stretch my confidence and my faith in so many things and they definitely pushed me outside of my comfort zone.  As much as I like to think that I shaped who they became, I know for a fact that they shaped who I am.  For that, I want to thank them.  They are the best thing that I have ever done in my life and the greatest gift that I could ever receive!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Author: Deb's Theory

I'm just an ordinary woman getting through life. I think most of us are doing the same--doing the best we can every day and hoping it's enough. By sharing our stories, our thoughts, and common experiences, I'm hoping it will make it all just a little bit easier to BE.

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