We can look at Sunday two different ways. It’s either the end of the weekend and you’re already planning your upcoming week or you’re still enjoying your weekend and haven’t yet thought about the week ahead. Either way, think about doing THIS sometime today.
It seems as if it was just a couple of months ago that I wrote an article about this; it’s been a year. It made me think about how much has changed over the past year…and how much hasn’t. In fact, I woke up early this morning and, for some reason, started thinking about a loss that I experienced several years ago now. I don’t know why; it wasn’t an anniversary or birthday or any of the normal things that would bring this up. Of course it made me sad thinking about it but, as I was thinking about everything, I also realized that it did more than that. It changed me. It changed who I was when it happened. I’m no longer the person that I used to be prior to my loss. I experienced such strong emotions and feelings that it really threw me for a long time. I honestly think it changed me as a person. I’m a bit more heavy-hearted than I used to be. I am a bit more hesitant in allowing my heart and emotions to be dealt another blow. At the time it happened, I thought about it, agonized over it, cried about it, got angry about it. I did all the things that grieving people should do, but it certainly didn’t feel normal to me and I didn’t go back to the person that I used to be. And that’s the point.
Each one of us is unique and we each have our own minds and emotions. No two are alike so we really cannot understand what someone else is going through. We also change, so we need to adapt. Sometimes life is just too hard to manage on our own. Sometimes we need help. This is absolutely no different than needing help getting around when you have a broken leg. We have a problem and we need help. It’s really as simple as that.
All of us experience highs and lows. All of us have good things happen and bad things happen to us. It’s life and we have to deal with it. We need to each deal with it the right way FOR US. That’s the thing; there is no right and no wrong in treating illness. Everybody has to learn what works best for them in order to live their best life. It’s not fair for any one of us to judge anybody else by what they do to survive. We are not in their shoes; we do not know what’s going on in their life. What we can do, however, is encourage each other to be the best person that they are capable of being and to support each other in that goal.
This isn’t a technical article with statistics and facts and figures. There are (thankfully) plenty of sites to find that information and I will provide a few of them below. Suffice it to say there are a LOT of us that suffer from some type of mental health issue. It can be an independent diagnosis, it can be due to another illness, it can be temporary or long-term, and it can be mild, severe or anywhere in-between! Like any other illness, there are treatments designed to fit your specific circumstances.
Things can become overwhelming. Sometimes we need help to get us through. The most important things that we can do for each other are to learn about it, talk about it, and be there for each other. Awareness is key. Knowing the risk factors and being able to recognize them could help prevent the more than 40,000 deaths every year by suicide. Sometimes we’re capable of asking for or seeking the help that we need. Sometimes we’re not and we need somebody to do it for us. Be that person.
Talking about wanting to die or wanting to kill themselves
Talking about feeling empty, hopeless, or having no reason to live
Making a plan or looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online, stockpiling pills, or buying a gun
Talking about great guilt or shame
Talking about feeling trapped or feeling that there are no solutions
Feeling unbearable pain (emotional pain or physical pain)
Talking about being a burden to others
Using alcohol or drugs more often
Acting anxious or agitated
Withdrawing from family and friends
Changing eating and/or sleeping habits
Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
Taking great risks that could lead to death, such as driving extremely fast
Talking or thinking about death often
Displaying extreme mood swings, suddenly changing from very sad to very calm or happy
Giving away important possessions
Saying goodbye to friends and family
Putting affairs in order, making a will
What can you do to help someone at risk?
Ask:“Are you thinking about killing yourself?” It’s not an easy question but studies show that asking at-risk individuals if they are suicidal does not increase suicides or suicidal thoughts.
Keep them safe: Reducing a suicidal person’s access to highly lethal items or places is an important part of suicide prevention. While this is not always easy, asking if the at-risk person has a plan and removing or disabling the lethal means can make a difference.
Help them connect:Save the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline’s number in your phone so it’s there when you need it: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You can also help make a connection with a trusted individual like a family member, friend, spiritual advisor, or mental health professional.
Stay Connected:Staying in touch after a crisis or after being discharged from care can make a difference. Studies have shown the number of suicide deaths goes down when someone follows up with the at-risk person.
The bottom line is that we have to be there for each other, look out for each other, and take care of each other. That’s how it’s supposed to work. We all need help sometimes. I’d like to think we do this on a regular basis, but it’s particularly valuable when we need an extra hand to get through a difficult time.
I’m fortunate to have people in my life that are supportive and do some of these things for me. I can say first-hand that it makes a significant difference on days that are more difficult. I hope that they know how much I appreciate them. It doesn’t take much effort to send a text or give somebody a quick call, but it can have a huge impact on their life. I try to do some of these same things for them, as well, just to let them know that I’m thinking of them and that I care about them. Please take a few minutes out of your day to reach out to somebody that needs it. Everybody wants and deserves to feel supported and cared for.
The bear pictured above is MY bear and I’m not going to apologize for him. He’s actually my Reiki bear, but every now and then, I’ll grab him just to touch it and it always makes me feel better when I happen to see him!
As it turns out, almost everybody benefits from having a teddy bear! I think we all know our bear just makes us feel better, but did you also know that there are proven benefits to having a teddy bear?
Most times, this bear or blanket will be the first object that your child experiences that is not mom or dad. It will be there whenever they need it to be. It represents security, it’s familiar, and it makes them feel safe. Surely there’s nothing wrong with that!
Most kids end up gravitating toward a stuffed animal, whether it’s a bear or an elephant or something else. They do this because the kids feel like the stuffed animals are their friend. They can talk to them and hug them and the bear listens to them, even when the rest of us are too busy. By playing with stuffed animals, kids are able to express their feelings and emotions even before they can talk!
Your child’s teddy bear can help him through the transition from baby to toddler, to going to new places, and being in unfamiliar situations. His bear can teach him the social skills that he needs to learn like being polite, sharing, and how to speak to others.
As a parent, you can use your child’s bear to show him things as well. You can use it to show him how to treat others, how to communicate, and how to express emotions. You can use him to show your child life skills (like brushing his teeth, getting dressed, etc.) by practicing on his bear.
As proven in so many different studies and written about in so many articles, the teddy bear is good for your child and interaction with the bear (or blanket or whatever else they are attached to) should be encouraged.
Oddly enough, most of the articles that I read were geared toward babies and children. I’m not sure why because I think teddy bears make EVERYBODY feel better! I still can’t go through a store aisle that has bears without touching them, finding one with “just the right face” and holding it before putting it back. Teddy bears just make us feel good and that’s enough reason for me! I don’t care how old you are, go ahead and hug that bear.
Even though the eclipse is over, keep looking up! Look around you!
Stop looking down at your phone, stop looking at the t.v., stop looking at your computer. Look around you instead. Look at the people who you pass on your way to work. Look at the people in the office that you’re walking past and say hello instead of rushing by. Really look at the person at the coffee shop that is giving you your order.
Sometimes that person that you’re used to looking past can become an important part of your life. You’ll never know if you’re busy looking at your phone. I think we’re all so used to rushing that it’s sometimes difficult to just stop and look around us. We might see some unexpected things that are right in front of our face if we just take a minute.
Maybe that coworker is going through some difficulties and you could make them feel better. Maybe that person waiting on you has just had something happen that is making her sad or angry. You can change that person’s day by being kind. Conversely, being kind or thoughtful to other people can change YOUR day and make you feel better too. It’s part of our humanity to reach out to people, to be kind to each other, not just ignore each other.
Looking up can also mean putting down your phone when you’re with other people. It lets them know that you care about what they’re saying and that you care enough to give them your undivided attention. It’s a sign of respect that’s too often overlooked.
Sometimes we need to look around us just to take a breather. Being in nature, surrounding yourself with the sounds and sights of the trees, the wind, the animals, can make you feel better. Take some time to look around at the world, not just rush through it. Look up at the sky, at the birds, and just enjoy the peace and quiet.
No matter how you choose to enjoy looking up or looking around, just keep doing it! Make it a habit and not an exception. You will be happy that you did.
I think we all have days where we just don’t feel like being sociable, being polite, or dealing with people or problems. I don’t know how you deal with that, but most of the time I recognize it, acknowledge it, and go with it. Frankly, I don’t have the patience anymore to try to hide it or pretend it’s not happening. Sometimes I’m just plain crabby and I own it.
We all have our reasons to get cranky or out of sorts, but I think how we deal with it varies. I know some people are embarrassed that they get crabby and try to ignore it. Other people revel in it and feel like it’s their due to just treat people poorly or take out their temper on unsuspecting people in their path that day. I think it also depends on the reason for it and the length of time that you’re in a funk. Continue reading “How Do You Get Yourself Out Of A Funk?”
I’ve been thinking lately about how chronic illness affects people and was going to do an article about it. This is not about that though.
I realized when I first started thinking about this topic that the first two things that popped into my head were how all-consuming it can be and how people deserve compassion. Then I realized that these two things are not exclusive to people with chronic illness. They are, in fact, common to everybody and something that we should think about and be aware of when dealing with our own situations and when dealing with other people in any circumstance.
Think about it: everybody that we encounter throughout our day, from the cashier at the coffee shop to the person on the other end of the phone that we speak with, all have individual lives with problems of their own that they deal with.
New mothers are dealing with life-changing issues while being sleep-deprived.
Many of us have problems at work, either person- or issue-related that may be troubling.
Lots of people have financial problems that they are trying to resolve.
There are so many people with health issues ranging from acute and immediate to chronic and debilitating.
All of these, and so many more, are problems that keep us awake at night. We all have some type of problem that we’re working on. Some are obviously more critical than others and they may come and go, but the one thing we have in common is that we all have to get through something. We all have problems that require our attention.
Additionally, people all handle problems differently. What one person considers minimal, somebody else may interpret (and react to) as a monumental problem. Stress also affects each of us differently and would affect our reactions and behavior. Our individual history may also affect our situation. Who is to say that one problem is worse than somebody else’s? There is absolutely no grading scale on problems, reactions, or situations.
There are a lot of factors that can influence how our problems affect our situation. The one thing we have in common is that we all have problems that worry us, can sometimes consume us, and that can affect how we live, how we think, and how we act. Since we know this, we should also have more in common with each other: compassion and understanding for ourselves and for each other.
For ourselves, it’s important that we cut ourselves some slack. Many times, we tend to be harder on ourselves than on other people. We expect a lot from ourselves. Allow yourself the time and patience to heal, to grieve, or to work toward resolution of the problem that you’re dealing with.
When dealing with other people, no matter who they are, be generous with your time, compassion, and patience. They, too, are going through situations and problems that we are unaware of, situations that are consuming their time, attention, and patience.
I’m not trying to be negative in saying that we all have problems, but it’s a reality in our fast-paced world that we’re all stressed and experience negative thoughts or experiences. I would like to think that, by taking the time to remember that everybody else we talk to or interact with has similar experiences, we might be a bit more kind or thoughtful to each other. If we could do this, it might just make somebody’s life a little bit easier and, after all, how much more positive could that be?