The power contained in the two little words “I’m Sorry” is enormous! It can heal years-old hurt, renew friendships, and restore relationships. It can change people’s lives by allowing them to start forgiving and to get past the hurt and it makes you feel better as well. Why, if it’s so valuable to say them, are these two little words so difficult for us to say?
Pride for one thing. None of us likes to admit that we did or said anything wrong–ever. Our first inclination, then, is to deny, deny, deny. Some initial responses when you’ve done something that you regret can include:
That’s not what I meant
That never happened
(S)he is lying
That’s not really what I said
It came out wrong
You don’t understand
Why do we feel the need to explain how what we did or said makes us innocent, even when we’re not? There is not one single person on this earth that is perfect; NOT ONE. Why do we try so hard to prove that we are? What do we have to gain? Time? Almost all the time, things come out anyway and you end up addressing it, so why prolong it? The longer you wait, the worse it gets. It eats at the person that did something and it eats away at the person that was wronged. You both know something was said or done even if you’re not quite sure of the details or disagree about the circumstances. Sometimes neither person knows how to fix it. Is it because of embarrassment? Probably, but that stays with you, too, until it’s resolved. Sometimes it gets to be so big that you lose the relationship rather than admit you were wrong. Is it worth it? Good relationships are a blessing and not replaceable. Continue reading “Those Two Little Words”
This year, this week…you can make a difference. The issue of suicide is always a bit scary, both because we’re afraid it will happen to someone we love and because we are, for the most part, not very knowledgeable about the subject until it affects us. I have a few people in my life that have been directly impacted by this issue and my heart still breaks for the pain that they experience. While I learned a bit about it, enough to have an intelligent conversation, I was still unaware of the actual statistics on this issue or the information that is available to help us all become more aware. This week is National Suicide Prevention Week and, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. In addition to that, for every suicide that is carried out, there are about 25 more attempts. Life is hard for all of us and, for some, it’s harder. We’ve made some strides in making this topic more mainstream, but we still have work to do. Depression, mental illness, and suicide are not taboo topics; they are a necessary conversation. This is no different than us researching cancer or heart attacks. We all know the warning signs of those and take action to prevent or heal ourselves and those close to us. We should be doing the same work on the topics of mental illness and/or suicide. Continue reading “National Suicide Prevention Week”
Just like in sports, sometimes our life needs a rain delay. Nobody thinks twice when unexpected rain interrupts our plans. It changes our day, slows us down, allows us to take a break from our planned activities. It’s an excuse to stop and reevaluate what we were going to do.
Sometimes, in our life, we need to take a rain delay. It’s especially handy in the summertime when we are so busy all the time trying to take advantage of every nice day and every possible activity. It’s like we feel guilty if we just stay inside or choose to watch tv or read a book in the house. We should be outside enjoying the weather, enjoying the sun, right? Not always. Sometimes you just need a break and it’s perfectly okay to do that. Take a rain delay and enjoy whatever it is you feel like doing, even if it’s absolutely nothing…no guilt allowed.
I think we all live with regret. Every day. Some of us are hard-wired to suffer from it more than others, I believe, but we all have it. From the easy things in life (like that extra cup of coffee or piece of cheesecake) to the harder things in life (like choices we’ve made about more important things).
We make decisions all day long, from the time we wake up to the time we fall asleep. We make a decision about getting out of bed at all! Most of our decisions are easily made, either because they’re not that important or because we make them out of habit with really not much thought at all.
It’s those decisions that come back and bite us that I want to talk about. I like to think that we all make important decisions consciously, with the best outcome in our mind. Unfortunately, even the best thought-out decisions don’t always have good consequences. It’s in those instances that we tend to beat ourselves up the most. We think to ourselves that “had I done this differently” or “if only I had done that instead” until we become immersed in the mindset that it is our own fault that things worked out the way they did. Someone told me once that it’s arrogant to think like this. What makes us think that OUR decisions and actions are the sole reason that things turn out the way they do? When I thought about it like that, I actually felt much better about the situation that I was dealing with. I’m hoping it may help you out as well.
Another mantra that I found helpful is to repeat the following:
The past is over and I did the best I could at the time.
This is SO powerful! I think we all carry guilt along with regret when we believe that we could have or should have done something differently. This statement, repeated over time, allows us to forgive ourselves and move on in peace, with no regrets.