This time of year makes me so nostalgic. Summer turns into fall, school starts, and it’s that time of year when you find yourself letting go of your baby. Depending on your age and your situation in life the circumstances will vary but you will find yourself having to let go of the most important thing in your life and it doesn’t matter if it’s your first, your third, or your tenth child; it feels the same way each and every time.
When your baby turns into a toddler and starts exploring the world around her, you have to let her do it. You have to not only let her do it, but encourage her to move away from you, to move toward other people and other things in order to learn about her world. You have to trust other people with the most important thing in your life. Continue reading “Parenting & Letting Go”
So you’re about to become a grandparent! Congratulations!
I have waited years for this to happen to me. Most of my friends are grandparents already and I’ve anxiously awaited the exciting news to happen to me. We all know that this is the crowning achievement of being a parent ourselves. No matter what else our own children do, how accomplished they are, how smart they are or how funny they are, it all comes down to this. THIS, my friends, means that you finally get to stop being just a parent. You can now be a certified GRANDPARENT. This is when you can stop worrying and stop being the responsible one. You can stop advising your own kids and gently(?) reminding them of what they’re supposed to be doing and simply enjoy. Yep, with a grandbaby, you don’t have to worry about any of that. It’s parental bliss. Somebody else can do all the heavy lifting while you sit back and enjoy the good stuff. You get to spoil them, kiss them and hug them, fill their tummies with cookies and other good things to bribe them into loving you and then send them home for their temper tantrums, sleepless nights, and the number of other fun things we had to put up with as a parent. Ahhh, the time is near!
Just like in sports, sometimes our life needs a rain delay. Nobody thinks twice when unexpected rain interrupts our plans. It changes our day, slows us down, allows us to take a break from our planned activities. It’s an excuse to stop and reevaluate what we were going to do.
Sometimes, in our life, we need to take a rain delay. It’s especially handy in the summertime when we are so busy all the time trying to take advantage of every nice day and every possible activity. It’s like we feel guilty if we just stay inside or choose to watch tv or read a book in the house. We should be outside enjoying the weather, enjoying the sun, right? Not always. Sometimes you just need a break and it’s perfectly okay to do that. Take a rain delay and enjoy whatever it is you feel like doing, even if it’s absolutely nothing…no guilt allowed.
I think we all live with regret. Every day. Some of us are hard-wired to suffer from it more than others, I believe, but we all have it. From the easy things in life (like that extra cup of coffee or piece of cheesecake) to the harder things in life (like choices we’ve made about more important things).
We make decisions all day long, from the time we wake up to the time we fall asleep. We make a decision about getting out of bed at all! Most of our decisions are easily made, either because they’re not that important or because we make them out of habit with really not much thought at all.
It’s those decisions that come back and bite us that I want to talk about. I like to think that we all make important decisions consciously, with the best outcome in our mind. Unfortunately, even the best thought-out decisions don’t always have good consequences. It’s in those instances that we tend to beat ourselves up the most. We think to ourselves that “had I done this differently” or “if only I had done that instead” until we become immersed in the mindset that it is our own fault that things worked out the way they did. Someone told me once that it’s arrogant to think like this. What makes us think that OUR decisions and actions are the sole reason that things turn out the way they do? When I thought about it like that, I actually felt much better about the situation that I was dealing with. I’m hoping it may help you out as well.
Another mantra that I found helpful is to repeat the following:
The past is over and I did the best I could at the time.
This is SO powerful! I think we all carry guilt along with regret when we believe that we could have or should have done something differently. This statement, repeated over time, allows us to forgive ourselves and move on in peace, with no regrets.
So yesterday I saw a couple of orange and yellow leaves in my yard. For those of us living in the Midwest, you know what that means. Fall will be here in the blink of an eye, quickly followed by the onset of the holiday season. As a friend of mine told me the other day, it’s just 18 short weekends away.
This is actually good news. We still have time to fit in all the things we said we wanted to do this summer! Take a few minutes today to plan out the next several weekends to make sure you wring out every last drop of summer fun!