Everybody has something to deal with, whether it’s chronic pain, illness, injury, stress, or trauma. I have some limitations in my life due to chronic illness. I won’t bore you with all the details of how chronic illness is defined or what it means. I won’t explain the names of the illnesses with which I live. Everybody has their own problems, ailments, and other struggles that they live with. Mine are certainly better than some and, for that, I’m grateful.
Having said that, I feel that it’s also beneficial to raise awareness for the struggles that people live with, whether the limitations are physical, mental, or emotional. I feel like they’re all intertwined anyway. For sure, when I feel physically depleted, I also feel angry or depressed or sad (or all 3). Sometimes my thinking is adversely affected and I don’t trust myself to make important decisions or even drive. My anxiety ramps up even more than usual. Conversely, if I’m feeling down or thinking less clearly, it also seems to magnify the physical aspect of my conditions. Being affected like this means that I’m incapable of functioning at my best. Continue reading “Life with Limitations”
Throughout our lives, we come across times of change, whether we looked for it or not and whether we want it or not. Obviously, how we react to these changes will affect the next portion of our life.
Some changes are easier to react to than others. For instance, if we actively decide to make a change for the better (new job with better hours, more pay, or a better location or a new house/apartment, new relationship, etc.), the change is much easier to live with. You’ve made the choice yourself and you’re benefiting from the change in a positive way. Does this mean everything is rosy? Nope. Continue reading “Change Happens, Ready or Not”
Immigrants = Human Beings Looking for Help
My heart is weary and my eyes are tearing.
Watching these families being torn apart breaks my heart.
I can’t imagine, as a mother, how I could survive something like this. I would break.
I can’t imagine, as a child, how I would feel watching my mother walk away from me and not understanding why she’s leaving me with strangers and not coming back.
STOP with the lies, the blame, the accusations and deflection.
I don’t care about the politics. I don’t care if you’re a Republican or a Democrat. I don’t care if you’re pro-immigration or against immigration. I care about these families, these parents and these children.
We elected you to represent us, the people. You are supposed to care about what we want, what we need, and listen to us when we speak. When you don’t, when you choose to do whatever you want, you will be voted out. Expect it.
I don’t care what we have to do to fix this problem. FIX IT!
First of all, it’s because she gave birth to us. She CHOSE to do that. She didn’t know what kind of kid you’d end up being. She didn’t know if you’d end up being a brain surgeon or end up in jail. It was all a crap shoot when she decided to have you, her baby. Just for this, you should thank her.
Secondly, she’s a hero for even HAVING you. Giving birth is not a picnic and you owe her big time for that. In fact, you can never even come close to repaying her for that, so at least make or get her a really nice Mother’s Day card.
It doesn’t matter how old you are; your mother is still likely an important influence in your life. No matter her current status, she still holds an important place in your life. Moms are there to be both loved and not-so-loved at different parts of your life and, because they’re your mom, they understand that.
I think we all like to believe that our mother is super-human. They can do anything! They know what’s best for us, they protect us from harm, they know what kind of cookies we like and they make them for us when we’re sad. When we’re sick, they know just what to do to help us feel better. When we succeed at something, they are the first person in line to celebrate our greatness! They help us figure out who we are, who we want to be, and how to get there. Moms are unconditional love.
At some point while we’re growing up, we’re going to learn differently. We’re going to recognize that our mom made a mistake or that we would do something differently than she had done. You might just be disappointed by that. It’s okay. It’s normal and part of our becoming our own person. It’s how we grow up and become independent with our own thoughts, values, and ways of doing things.
Speaking as a daughter, I regret some of the things I said to my own mother. I regret the pain that I caused her when I was a teen and again later in life. I’m sure there were several times that we had differences of opinions but she NEVER stopped loving me or letting me know that she loved me. I, too, had differences of opinion where I didn’t necessarily agree with all of her choices, but I never stopped loving her either. That’s the thing; your mother is your mother. We need to remember that each one of us, both when we’re young and when we’re old, are simply doing the best that we can in the moment with what we have. If we stop to think about it, we can all understand that.
Speaking as a mother myself, I can tell you that it’s terrifying! The fact that you’re instantly responsible for an entire human life with absolutely no qualifications is crazy. Our kids think we’re perfect when they’re small and we sure don’t want to disappoint them, but we’re just normal people. I can certainly assure you that I am a flawed human being. I’ve made mistakes in my life and as a parent. I definitely have things that I wish I would have done differently; some big and some small. I feel each and every one of those. I have no more important thing in my life than my children and I would do anything to spare them hurt. The worst part of being a mother is the knowledge that sometimes you can’t fix it for them. Some things aren’t fixable and others shouldn’t be. Part of being a mother is stepping back and supporting them while they manage their own situations.
As we move through life in our role of the child or the mother, we change. Relationships will change over time with each child and we need to adapt. What doesn’t change? Our mom is still our mom. Treasure this relationship; there’s not another one like it.
Wishing you each a very Happy Mother’s Day!
To My Mom, for whom I would do anything in the world to be able to talk with again
To My Kids, who ARE my whole world
I Love You