Tag: kind

This New Year, What if You…

Give Yourself a Hug

What if, this New Year’s Day, instead of listing all the things that we want to change about ourselves, we instead make a list of all the things that we are proud of ourselves for?

This does not come easily for some of us. We are so used to telling ourselves that we are too fat, don’t do enough, or that we are just not good enough for somebody or something; that we don’t deserve it. This is self-defeating and self-fulfilling. It has been proven that our thoughts directly impact our feelings. Far too many of us say negative things to ourselves throughout the day. What if, instead, we start telling ourselves how beautiful we are exactly as we are and how proud we are of ourselves for the things we have accomplished?

How many times, when we go out to eat or go the refrigerator to get food, do we say to ourselves “do I really need that?” or “I should not be eating this; I’m already overweight.”.  When you look in the mirror when getting ready to go somewhere, do you think to yourself “Wow! I look great!” or do you look and say “I really need to lose some weight” or “I wish I were prettier”?  When are we good enough? Even though you are exhausted by the end of the week because you’re juggling work, home, maybe kids, pets, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, etc., do you think you did enough? We spend our weeks getting stuff done so that we can enjoy a few hours of rest and relaxation. During that time, do you think to yourself that you’ve done a great job all week or do you think about things that may be left undone or feel that you could have or should have done better?

This has been a rough time for all of us. We all carry a lot of emotion about the times we are living in, ranging from confusion to anger to fright and impatience. This takes a toll on our emotional, mental, and physical health. The least we can do is be kind to ourselves and, in turn, to each other. Let’s just be enough for a change.

For this upcoming year, instead of making a list of things wrong with us, let’s instead make a list of all the things that are right with us! Are you kind? Are you helpful to a friend or neighbor? Are you the go-to person in your group of friends or family for advice or for support? Have you tried to be patient with people during these stressful times? These are just a few things that should make us proud of ourselves! Just surviving these past couple of years with the chaos of work, covid, stress, fear, and anxiety is worthy of honoring and respecting ourselves!

Before the new year starts, think about all the good things about yourself and your life. Be appreciative of who you are and what you do. Instead of physical attributes, jot down the values that are most important to you. How many of them do you practice? Honor the good parts of you. It’s fine to think about what you want to change; it’s how we grow and improve as human beings. Just don’t live there.

Wishing us all a very Happy New Year and a year filled with happiness!

Debbie

Getting Through the Storm

storm_clouds
storm clouds

I’ve been thinking lately about how chronic illness affects people and was going to do an article about it. This is not about that though.

I realized when I first started thinking about this topic that the first two things that popped into my head were how all-consuming it can be and how people deserve compassion. Then I realized that these two things are not exclusive to people with chronic illness. They are, in fact, common to everybody and something that we should think about and be aware of when dealing with our own situations and when dealing with other people in any circumstance.

Think about it: everybody that we encounter throughout our day, from the cashier at the coffee shop to the person on the other end of the phone that we speak with, all have individual lives with problems of their own that they deal with.

  • New mothers are dealing with life-changing issues while being sleep-deprived.
  • Many of us have problems at work, either person- or issue-related that may be troubling.
  • Lots of people have financial problems that they are trying to resolve.
  • There are so many people with health issues ranging from acute and immediate to chronic and debilitating.

All of these, and so many more, are problems that keep us awake at night. We all have some type of problem that we’re working on. Some are obviously more critical than others and they may come and go, but the one thing we have in common is that we all have to get through something. We all have problems that require our attention.

Additionally, people all handle problems differently. What one person considers minimal, somebody else may interpret (and react to) as a monumental problem. Stress also affects each of us differently and would affect our reactions and behavior. Our individual history may also affect our situation. Who is to say that one problem is worse than somebody else’s? There is absolutely no grading scale on problems, reactions, or situations.

There are a lot of factors that can influence how our problems affect our situation. The one thing we have in common is that we all have problems that worry us, can sometimes consume us, and that can affect how we live, how we think, and how we act. Since we know this, we should also have more in common with each other: compassion and understanding for ourselves and for each other.

For ourselves, it’s important that we cut ourselves some slack. Many times, we tend to be harder on ourselves than on other people. We expect a lot from ourselves. Allow yourself the time and patience to heal, to grieve, or to work toward resolution of the problem that you’re dealing with.

When dealing with other people, no matter who they are, be generous with your time, compassion, and patience. They, too, are going through situations and problems that we are unaware of, situations that are consuming their time, attention, and patience.

I’m not trying to be negative in saying that we all have problems, but it’s a reality in our fast-paced world that we’re all stressed and experience negative thoughts or experiences. I would like to think that, by taking the time to remember that everybody else we talk to or interact with has similar experiences, we might be a bit more kind or thoughtful to each other. If we could do this, it might just make somebody’s life a little bit easier and, after all, how much more positive could that be?

Be Thankful and Be Kind

thankful
thankful

On Thanksgiving, we’re all supposed to be nothing short of grateful and appreciative.  And I am, but that’s not all that I am.  I am also a little sad.  There are lots of people in this world today that feel like they have no real reason to be grateful or have mixed emotions this holiday season.  We live in a time of transition, confusion, and anxiety.  People, depending on their circumstances, feel anything from happiness and joy to heightened stress levels to despair or hopelessness.  This is all okay!  Just because it’s Thanksgiving doesn’t mean you are suddenly in different circumstances or that you can change your life for the day.  It’s OKAY to not fit the expectation of the day, but you do have to be the best person that you can be and to treat each other with kindness. Continue reading “Be Thankful and Be Kind”