It’s a New Year! How are you doing?

Be forgiving of yourself and others. We’re all just doing the best that we can and that’s good enough for now.

I think all of us feel like we should review our lives at New Year’s. What have we done, accomplished, or learned from this past year? It’s always a good time to reevaluate where we are and where we want to be.

What have I learned this past year? I had a lot to choose from. This year, out of all my many years on this earth, I’ve seen more turmoil than I’ve ever seen or experienced before! I don’t recall ever having been exposed to so much news and disruption, so much anger and bigotry and pain, yet also so much hope and support and shared empathy. It’s no wonder we’re all left feeling a bit shaken, if not completely overwhelmed. This year has been a lot!

From the pandemic to protests and politics, we’ve had our hands full dealing with circumstances that we’ve never experienced before. All of these things have put us into a situation that made us reevaluate what we believe and how we choose to react. It has sometimes made us question our choices and beliefs and it’s definitely made us uncomfortable. It’s a perfect time to take a look at ourselves.

Times like this require a different set of skills to adapt to life. On a normal basis, we tend to rely on habits that we create to make our lives easier. We don’t normally have to think as much or make as many decisions as we’ve had to do over this past year. It’s hard work having to be “on” constantly and thinking about new things several times a day every day. It’s not how our brains are set up to work and it’s exhausting.

Whether you’re a student, parent, or teacher adapting to remote learning or an employee that had to learn to work from home or you have to go in to work every day while staying as safe as possible, each of us has had something to adapt to. It doesn’t even matter if you’re used to staying home, HAVING to stay home is something entirely different. I can’t even imagine the stress, the pain, and the emotional toll that it takes to have had a loved one become ill or worse. The amazing people that have had to treat the hundreds of thousands of people that have become sick are truly amazing but I can’t imagine the toll that this has taken on them. There has been more anxiety, stress and pain than anybody should have had to experience over this past year.

While we’ve all had different levels of change, different levels of stress, and different effects on our health and well-being, we’ve ALL been impacted. I feel like if there is any time to be kind to ourselves, it’s now.  In looking at my own expectations of this past year, I’m obviously disappointed that I didn’t have the opportunity to accomplish several (most) of the things I had intended to do. However, I’m still here, alive and well, ready to greet the new year. A lot of us are not that fortunate. I’ve learned to be especially grateful for things that I’ve taken for granted previously. If nothing else, I’ve learned to be more patient, more forgiving, and more tolerant, even of myself. I think that’s definitely a plus for me personally. At this particular time, I’m pretty content with that.

I think the overriding message this New Year should be acceptance. There’s no guidebook on how to survive what we’re living through. All of us have our own set of circumstances and ways of coping, so the answers will be different for each of us. What we can control is how we react to each other and how we treat each other. Acceptance and tolerance is a lot better than anger and hatred. We should also accept our own limitations this year. We may not have accomplished everything we planned to, but maybe we gained a lot more than we would have in a different time. We can value our relationships with each other a lot more; we can feel more compassion for others and show it with our actions. We can support each other through these turbulent times and be there to listen to and understand each other.  We’re all just trying to get through it right now. There’s no precedent for what we’re experiencing, so do what you can to support yourself and those close to you. Reach out to friends and family members if you need help. Reach out to see if you can help them with anything. Be forgiving of yourself and others. We’re all just doing the best that we can and that’s good enough for now.

As for 2021, I think we all deserve a break. I’m wishing you and the people you love a very Happy New Year!

Life with Limitations

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Everybody has something to deal with, whether it’s chronic pain, illness, injury, stress, or trauma. I have some limitations in my life due to chronic illness. I won’t bore you with all the details of how chronic illness is defined or what it means. I won’t explain the names of the illnesses with which I live. Everybody has their own problems, ailments, and other struggles that they live with. Mine are certainly better than some and, for that, I’m grateful.

Having said that, I feel that it’s also beneficial to raise awareness for the struggles that people live with, whether the limitations are physical, mental, or emotional. I feel like they’re all intertwined anyway. For sure, when I feel physically depleted, I also feel angry or depressed or sad (or all 3). Sometimes my thinking is adversely affected and I don’t trust myself to make important decisions or even drive. My anxiety ramps up even more than usual. Conversely, if I’m feeling down or thinking less clearly, it also seems to magnify the physical aspect of my conditions. Being affected like this means that I’m incapable of functioning at my best. Continue reading “Life with Limitations”

Change Happens, Ready or Not

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Throughout our lives, we come across times of change, whether we looked for it or not and whether we want it or not. Obviously, how we react to these changes will affect the next portion of our life.

Some changes are easier to react to than others. For instance, if we actively decide to make a change for the better (new job with better hours, more pay, or a better location or a new house/apartment, new relationship, etc.), the change is much easier to live with. You’ve made the choice yourself and you’re benefiting from the change in a positive way. Does this mean everything is rosy? Nope. Continue reading “Change Happens, Ready or Not”

How Do You Get Yourself Out Of A Funk?

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I think we all have days where we just don’t feel like being sociable, being polite, or dealing with people or problems. I don’t know how you deal with that, but most of the time I recognize it, acknowledge it, and go with it. Frankly, I don’t have the patience anymore to try to hide it or pretend it’s not happening. Sometimes I’m just plain crabby and I own it.

We all have our reasons to get cranky or out of sorts, but I think how we deal with it varies. I know some people are embarrassed that they get crabby and try to ignore it. Other people revel in it and feel like it’s their due to just treat people poorly or take out their temper on unsuspecting people in their path that day. I think it also depends on the reason for it and the length of time that you’re in a funk. Continue reading “How Do You Get Yourself Out Of A Funk?”

Be Thankful and Be Kind

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On Thanksgiving, we’re all supposed to be nothing short of grateful and appreciative.  And I am, but that’s not all that I am.  I am also a little sad.  There are lots of people in this world today that feel like they have no real reason to be grateful or have mixed emotions this holiday season.  We live in a time of transition, confusion, and anxiety.  People, depending on their circumstances, feel anything from happiness and joy to heightened stress levels to despair or hopelessness.  This is all okay!  Just because it’s Thanksgiving doesn’t mean you are suddenly in different circumstances or that you can change your life for the day.  It’s OKAY to not fit the expectation of the day, but you do have to be the best person that you can be and to treat each other with kindness. Continue reading “Be Thankful and Be Kind”

Take 5

What can you do in just 5 minutes a day?

  • Write down 5 things that you’re grateful for.
  • Before bed, prioritize your to-do list for the next day (clear it from your mind).
  • Do some deep breathing.
  • Send a note, card, or email to a friend; let them know they’re important to you.
  • Write down your worries and throw them away.
  • Stretch!
  • Pet your dog or cat…JUST pet them; don’t do anything else.
  • Close your eyes and just be still!
  • Call or text somebody and tell them you’re thinking of them.
  • Check your calendar.
  • Bookmark a feel-good website and spend 5 minutes there.
  • Write down 10 things that you’re good at.
  • Practice visualization/imagery; picture yourself somewhere relaxing.

Anybody have anything else that works well?